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Scenario: You snap out of your drunken blackout sitting in a university examination hall, evidently for a senior philosophy course, with only a few minutes left on the clock. You have no idea how you got there, but your groggy intuition tells you that for some reason it is Very Important to take this seriously and give it your best shot. In front of you is an otherwise blank exam booklet with only this question at the top: “Distinguish being, reality, and existence.” What do you write?

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